My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
