its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
its liver damage thursday
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