I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
