you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
