I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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