I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My dick has a subreddit
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
