I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
