I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize