Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
