I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
