Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
