get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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