she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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