Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
