TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
