my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
