I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize