Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
