god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
