I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
