But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
you inspire me to be a worse person
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
