Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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