Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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