Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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