No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
