WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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