Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
