It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Randomize
