You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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