It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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