yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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