Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My dick has a subreddit
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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