I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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