Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
