GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
