xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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