Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I cut my penus on the lid.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
