Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize