im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
