I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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