I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
