i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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