He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
