This dress was meant to end up on your floor
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
