Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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