dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
