So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
