You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Randomize
