No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
