it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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