He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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