The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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