brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
