we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize