he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize