Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
