Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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