Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
