AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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