So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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