if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
