after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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