I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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