she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
