There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
